Now I am an idea person. I say this all the time. Often times people don’t like this and find it annoying when I share my ideas. I respect your desire to not hear my ideas and over time I have developed the skill to remember to ask someone (when it could be intrusive) if they are open to hearing my ideas. So often we are stuck with our world view we want to just hear ideas from people who already have the same belief set as us and for people to already just agree with us on a topic. In an age of everything being treated as offensive to someone, shouldn’t we all be trying to find value an alternative perspective? If for nothing else but to spark discussion and debate.
I believe that many of my ideas, while they might not be things I want either, often represent an alternative point of view that may at least spark more detailed consideration into the area of discussion. When I share anything I have to be ready for backlash. The thing about backlash is that it tells more about the person responding than the person it is directed towards. When you keep this in mind it is easier to listen and respond if necessary.
Do you respond? Well, for me, often not. My personal intention is to get ideas out there and offer concepts that others might not have considered. It is up to them to decide to take that information in and use it or to let it go. I have no control over what they do with what I put out into the world.
Today I saw this post and I want to just show you what I see and what I question. ‘Does anyone know what to use to get rid of fleas?? We have two dogs and we’ve bombed, sprayed the yard twice and they aren’t wearing flea collars, my kid’s are 32&40, I can’t handle them anymore I sprayed my room flea killer and my bed, but my grandkids are getting eaten, lol alot of bites??’
I want to help this person, they asked for help, and there is so much they did not consider or share for others to help effectively. First, you have flea problems and your dogs aren’t wearing collars-is this intentional, do you want them to, can you not afford it, do you want to find an natural alternative, what is your actual intention for posting this phrase? Same concept with mentioning the kids: are the kids older and living with you so they should have some responsibility in solving the problem, or are they part of the issue? Are you mentioning their ages because they are not in the house anymore and thus you do not need to worry about them? Two completely different possibilities for both of these comments that anyone might just assume to be either reasoning.
Making assumptions is easy to do and can often be significantly detrimental to any conversation, especially one that is online. It can hurt you and other people involved in the conversation but so can asking more questions if one is not ready to hear them. I say this to all of you: try thinking from another perspective, considering various options, and be open to hearing a different perspective than your own before you start out on a journey to learn something new.
And once you have that new perspective, do your own research and don’t ever take what someone else says as a fact. We all know that some of the people with the most power and influence in this world often share some of the worst quality information. And keep yourself safe. If you cannot emotionally handle getting a response from someone when you ask a question be sure to let them know. It is your responsibility to ask, in detail, what you need.
Jillian Carnrick, founder and manager of The Dancing Herbalist, has a Masters of Science Degree in Herbal Medicine, practices as a nutritionist, and is a Certified Personal Trainer and Exercise Is Medicine Professional through the American College of Sports Medicine. The Dancing Herbalist posts on this blog every Thursday. For more of our posts, join us on Patreon. Jillian also presents regular live classes in The Dancing Herbalist’s home herbalist courses online. For more learning opportunities or to work one-on-one with Jillian with her wellness and herbal consultationsvisit The Dancing Herbalist.com.